Parents Tasked on Proper Child Training

By Funmi Ogundare, 05.13.2008

Parents need to pay positive attention to the input  coming into the lives of their children and also seek to build good habits in them, the Director Redfield College, Sydney, Mr. Andrew Mullins has said. 
Mullins, who gave this advice recently as Guest Speaker at a public lecture entitled, 'Parenting for Character: Equipping your Children for Life', organised by Whitesands School, Lekki, in collaboration with the Nigerian Association for Family Development (NAFAD), said parents should go the extra length in explaining to the child what he/she has done wrong rather than drive him to resentment. 
"If you are high on expectation and low on affection, you would drive your child to resentment. You communicate better with children when you take conversations very seriously 
He listed right judgment, responsibility, courage and self control as the four cardinal virtues for parents to adequately bring up their children. He said, "The rule is that you must teach your children about  respect for others. You don't talk  badly about others to them. If you want to build good habits in them, you must establish routines and be consistent with it. It is easy to perform a single good action, but not easy to acquire a settled habit of performing such actions. Teach that actions should be motivated by love. Clearly teach what is right and wrong and don't let bad habits accumulate by keeping an eye on them." 
The Coordinator of NAFAD, Lagos Chapter, Mr. Mike Ijeh said the foundation of family happiness lies in the unity of the parents and communication between them and their children is key. He regretted that career seems to have taken the centre stage saying that parents abandon the welfare of the children to take care of their career. 
He advised them to put God and their families first in their priority. "If you allow anything to displace your relationship with God and your family, you are likely to run into problems", Ijeh  said. 
A Parent, Mrs. Victoria Adedo, said parents should be able to discuss goals and aspirations with their children, adding that communication and giving them a chance to make decisions on their own was vital. "We are the ones that would mould them during their formative years, as well as put them in order if they are going astray. If they have problems you have to be there for them and when they have questions, answer them so that they would not go out to seek for wrong advice from their peer group", she said.  Another parent, Mrs. Ada Ossai said it was important for parents to pray together and communicate effectively with their children because according to her, "you can't do it alone no matter how poor or rich you are, you need to pray and spend quality time together with your children."